Help I Am Single.......!!!

I choose to begin this with a good laugh so pardon me hehehehehehehehahahahahahhohohohohohoho LOL LOL.Many thanks for your patience.I guess at the title you would assume I am asking for help? Yeah right! Well this is what was written on a church banner I saw the other day on my way home from work.Unfortunately , I didnt remember to take a picture of the banner so I could put it up for you to see.Dear readers, since when did being single become a problem? . Another advertisement I saw said "My Spouse Appear Now!". If people did not attend these things I doubt if we would have them.It is interesting how churches these days are using the high youth population to their advantage or do I say making mountains out of molehills. I am not saying it is wrong to serve the Lord as I am a Christian and I also beleive that some battles are beyond flesh and blood but hey,"Help I am Single??" Come on, what on earth is that? Love and companionship with the right person is beautiful but I also beleive that some people are better off single or the problem might just simply be you and your deficiencies in the manners Department. Of course picturing the congregation of this spirit filled hours of prayers and kabashing, one does not need to be told that the congregation would be made up of 99.9 % single women hoping to find partners.My question is, why are churches hammering on the whole single state?Yes it is alright if you hold talks and seminars where you advice and speak positively about being single and handling relationships in preparations for marriages and qualities you should look for in prospective partners, but in a situation where it now becomes the fault of a demon or the devil... that gets me asking many more questions.Is it fair to capitalise on people's thirst for salvation by making them slaves to certain situations?Has it ever occured to anyone that some people are single by choice because they have just not found the right person? I'll list some scenarios from personal experience and air my views from a woman's angle.

1- Imagine meeting a guy and on your first date you end up footing the bills for the meal!Or meeting this fellow in a bus who tries to chat you up and when its time to pay the bus fare, he pretends hes looking out of the window and then resumes his boring chat after you have paid your fare. Or is it those particularly irritating ones who see you at an eatry or supermarket and wait for you to finish paying for your stuff before inconviniencing you with the same boring pick up lines again? Pah!I agree that I am a hard working woman but for your information brother I am not working so hard to end up feeding you!and when you are insulted, you rave and rant that you are a man.Well many things like shame , self respect and dignity makes a man, my dear friend.I mean this should give you a clear picture of what that relationship or friendship is going to be like. Plain parasitic, with me as the host and you as the parasite. Well no woman wants to be around such a man!! You start by footing some bills and then we can start talking!

2- You are on a first date with a guy and he spends his time telling you how good in bed he is and how he enjoys great sex! Excuse me, I have known you for about 30 minutes and I actually thought a first date is for getting to know each other on basic terms and even if we need to talk about sex, I dont really need to know what a sick pervet you are, Thank you!

3- Over the years I have developed and obsession with washing my hands as soon as I get to work and every opportunity I get because some guys just think its okay to dip their hands in their trousers at every opportunity or grab their crotch or pee at the road side and decide to take a romantic walk with you hand in hand!What on earth happened to washing hands and appropriate behaviour in public spaces?

4- Cleanliness is next to Godliness.So whats with men who simply would not use deodorants or perfumes?I mean you do not need to buy an expensive one. The annoying thing with these group of guys is that they love body contact and would not stop hugging you or sitting so close!Or is it those with bad breath who love to whisper stinky nothings on your nostrils? And why wont some people just buy their clothes size?I hate it when you walk up to me looking like a clown in trousers that are obviously too short or shirts that are too tight.My instinctive reaction should be to burst out laughing but as the nice woman that I am, I just smile and say no thank you.Speak about total packaging!

5-Arrogance is another turn off. You start by asking that stupid question, "SO WHATS THE NAME?". The name of what? My dog or my cat? Would it kill you if you asked me nicely, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?I mean, I am an individual too.Then you just sit there and waste my precious time talking about YOU, YOU, YOU and oh- YOU again because you think the fact that you are wearing a TM Lewin shirt or Paul Smith T shirt and Gucci sun glasses spelt wrongly makes you the best thing that ever happened to the world of women? and expect me to feel honoured to be in your presence as you are doing me a big big favour? PULEEEZ

6- With infidelity and insincerity, I could kill. I mean you took vows at God's alter to love and be with your spouse for better for worse and here you are sitting in yout big car with your pot belly mercilessly pressing against your steering wheel and trying to make me understand that I am a big girl and would benefit a lot by associating with you! Yes I am big enough to actually give you a dirty look and walk away.Or you've been dating someone forever and after all the ups and downs you discover hes been lying to you all this while. Lies , lies , lies.... Or you have this guy who cliams hes really into you and he calls you like once in 6 months to tell you how much he misses you and blah blah blah.Txt mssgs cost about N15 if calls are too expensive for your cheap self.If you are not into me then just say so, why waste my time?

The list is endless.I am not saying that we women do not have our flaws too. Oh yes we do, with nagging all the time, hair extensions we carry for too long , two timing and all - but hey, we learnt from the masters of the game.I beleive some people actually choose to be single until they meet the right one and this decision should be understood and respected. What have evil spirits got to do with it? Is'nt
happiness and peace of mind important any more? In the case of "My Spouse Appear Now", I am totally lost for words as I have always assumed I should actually get to know the person first and there should be a connection before we take it to the next level? Standing at a voloptuous 5:11 in size and height do I have the right to say NO if I attend such a gathering and a 4ft pot bellied brother or a 45 year old jobless bachelor comes my way or could it just be the guidance of the spirit or something else?